...Death Scare

The past 3 days have been proboably the scariest days i've experienced while being sick. I woke up and all at once there was a pounding migrane, nausea that pepto bismo wasn't helping, sharp chest pain that shot to my back, shortness of breath, and excruciating pain from my knees down.

The first day i laid down in the exact same spot all day.

The next day i took meds and was able to move around but still had shortness of breath so i had to take an excessive amount of breaks just to catch my breath if i didn't i would begin to get dizzy and feel like i was gonna fall out (nausea still remained).

Anyone who knows me knows that i don't get sick very often so this was all too odd for me. Every sickness that once possessed and sometimes conquered my family began to cross my thoughts and increase my concern..."what is this? asthma? heart disease? cancer? valley fever? is it because im overweight? I have honestly NEVER been so concerned about my health.

Day three had to be about the worst day, although my pain had gone away I was having the hardest time breathing. One minute i would be sweating and the next i would be shivering with chills...

So bed time came and i had been propping my head up the past three days to help me breathe easier. I thought why not move these pillows and see if i can sleep laying flat. Once i removed the pillows i felt my heart jump twice and i felt something soft inside of me rub against my chest, i thought it was my heart but then again im not a specialist...so, immediatley after that i was able to breathe without having to concentrate or by trying to catch up with myself.

I went from having such a hard time breathing to the point i felt like i was going to fall out to being able to breathe clearly! I have never been so thankful for air in my life!!!

and that leads me to this, EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY even the very air we breathe so we should live to the fullest as if every day is our last!


Dearest,

Tina

I HATE PANCAKES!!!

Does breakfast food always have to be a 3 course meal? oh my gosh, i know this is a blog and i prolly should always be positive but hey,,,,,I HATE BREAKFAST FOOD! it's like i hate routine...Every stinkin day (of course sometimes i try to skip days) i have to wake up and prepare a breakfast...pancake, eggs, sausage, fried potatoes...I mean why can't we just do lunch for breakfast...The ironic thing about it is,,,,my husbands favorite meal is breakfast food...and i don't mean a bowl a cereal...(by the way i like cereal) but the whole shebang!

ahhh....done with that venting


Dearest,

Tina

A Weekend...now rest

So Friday night from 10pm-6am we had a youth lock-in at McDermont field house in Lindsay CA. it was sooo much fun!! we took our young people and played all kinds of sports and activities. after getting home saturday around 8:30am we slept and awoke at 3pm to get ready and drive 45min away to watch my younger brother sing in a choir! he did awesome, i'm so proud of him ; )



We got home around 10pm and awoke the next morning for 2 church services...fathers day!



we really didn't do much special just eat at my moms for dinner = )....



So what a busy weekend... now i need rest

The Big 2-3!

So, I am officially 23 as of June 1st
I feel like i'm soooo young and have so much life to live!

So i've made the decision to go back to school and finish what i've started...I want to become an english teacher. I start in December and i'll be going to Phoenix University.

What to do between now and then...get a job! I really need the mula, but we'll see what happens.

Dearest,

Justina

There are 3 Outlooks on Life...

There is the always positive outlook, The ever consistent negative....and then there is the understanding outlook. It's understanding that there will be both positive and negative occurances in life and the way you look at it determines your outcome...
Dearest,

Justina

Thoughts that consume...

So, I was reading someones blog and she was expressing her confusion on life, who she is, what she's purposed for, and how she should live life one day at a time. I can remember asking myself the same thought provoking questions.



However today i don't see myself asking those same questions. I know why I live, it's to Serve God...to win the lost, tell people just like her of the truth,,,that God is real, he's alive and she can lean on him. I know what i'm purposed to do, to worship him, to give him my life, so that it's no longer my life but a life for Christ.



These thoughts consume my mind. Sometimes I can so easily forget that it's not my life. I made a commitment to Jesus about 7 years ago that my life is his and that i will do anything he wants me to and everything that i do i want to be pleasing to him.



It's just so easy to get distracted and lose sight. (sigh) HE'S REAL, HE'S REAL, HE'S REAL And he loves me. Oh what a privelage we have that Christ would love us. I wish that everyone could know of his love.

dearest,

Justina

Back where I started...ugh

So im just gonna be honest, i'm back where i started several months ago,,,i weigh 184 pounds again. it's kinda depressing.

So i'm going to start my diet again. First i just cut out all my junk food, instead of junking i'm gonna eat like a granola bar or bowl of healthy cereal but to an extreme minimal. no more late night dinners, and hello workout sessions!

so my goal is to lose 50pounds and i'm aimin to lose 30 of it before the summer is over and the summer hasn't even began yet so i have a little extra time. That way i'll weigh in at around 154.

Dearest,

Justina